OVERSTIMULATED

Tonight was the soft opening of the FOUNDATION.
A Youth Unlimited drop in centre in Millbourne.

If I'm honest

I was scared when I was on my way there. 

Reason being - It's not my niche yet.

Yet,

I'd never been before

and I kept thinking 

what if they don't like me? 

What if I clam up and chill in the corner? and then the staff and other volunteers think i'm a total fail and wonder why i'm even in college for this anyway...

Yeah, I'm an almost graduated Youth Worker...

Why am I thinking these things??

Because anxiety doesn't make sense.

That's why..

So I prayed

What else could I do?

Jesus, please let tonight be amazing for the kids

even if I just watch them enjoy the new space

and even if it's hard to get to know the teens

I just want them to have fun tonight. 

Amen

________________________________________________________________________

I pull up to the community centre,

Before I even get out of the car, 

there is a girl and her brother waiting there for me

to ask me what my name was and if i was a volunteer

Oh the innocence. 

All night, I just kept thinking,

Wow, these kids are honestly not what I expected

I had never met them before.. So I guess I didn't know

WHAT

to expect.. 

They were so kind.. 

some of them rowdy... but they're youngsters,

what can you do.. 

but accepting

even when I let my laugh loose...

I usually wait until a month into the 

relationship

before I let that out... not tonight! 

My mind just kept going back to the girl I first met

so innocent, so kind, so loving, so... childlike.

She was so trusting right off the get-go.

because she knew the PLACE she was, 

was a place that can be trusted. 

I was thrown into thinking...

We become so jaded. 

By the time we are in early adolescence, 

Jaded, weary, and untrusting. 

During adolescence,

jr.high.

we experience the hurt of human beings. 

and we usually never come back from it. 

Life becomes about serving ourselves

and what can we get from other people?

not what can we give?

When we give, we also receive. 

When we are at a place we can trust,

we can also trust the people usually..

Bible College,

Church,

Youth Group.

I trust these PLACES,

I trust the people

(until proven otherwise,

I'm not stupid)

My thoughts are everywhere right now.. 

haven't quite processed everything .

Over stimulated right now

won't sleep for sure. 

I want to get back to a place of giving;

my energy, and my TIME.

 Valuable time. 

Time, 

We can never get it back, 

we can only spend it. 

& the best way to spend it...

With God and With people. 

Love God, Love people.
right?  

Give your heart.

if it breaks

God can fix it. 

Be wise, 

but give your heart away

give your time generously. 

allow people to see YOU

take off your mask 

I want a child-like (not childish) faith.

but I also want a child-like trust in humanity

call me naive, 

but I'm tired of being jaded, 

of using my hurts to keep myself distant. 

I've been on a journey for the past year 

to become a more vulnerable person..

I am becoming that. 

It's amazing

I get to let people see a part of me 

that is everything all at once. 

It's light, and deep dark, 

it's joy and sorrow 

it's laughter and tears. 

I was hurt terribly just after high school

 I thought I'd never recover. 

But I'm a survivor. 

I am vulnerable,

I am Bold.

 G'night, hugs and beans.

disclaimer:  I did not explore many areas in this blog post.. please don't stone me for not talking about how people's hearts break and they never learn... or how not everyone can be trusted and how we need to be careful and have people EARN our trust before we give our heart away... 

WHEN I SAY, 'GIVE YOUR HEART AWAY' I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND RELATIONSHIP... THAT'S DIFFERENT... BUT EVERYONE DESERVES TO SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE... LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE.. 

also.. just a fun video to make you think... 
be the punchline..
I Like Laughter